8 April 2020
Hey, so we are almost a third of the way there. The ‘Way to Where?’ I’m not quite sure as I have heard murmurings of lockdown extension, of us all being immune (due to our childhood BCG vaccinations), of the COVID-19 wave only arriving in May….aaaah the murmurings, but who knows? So I continue to challenge My Truth vs The Truth (see my post on Through Day 3 and into Day 4 of Lockdown) while attempting to remain present and conscious in it all.
My journey on the Way to Where? has been just that, a journey. From initially absorbing every piece of COVID-19 literature, while desperately attempting to cling onto a routine and my know reality, to eventually finding and accepting a new rhythm.
As from Day 1, the voice in my head kept whispering ‘You have all this time Lindsy, what are you going to do with it?’, but I suppose if I had stopped then and really listened I would have heard another intuitive voice of survival calling ‘Keep busy Lindsy, as then you won’t have to face reality and perhaps it will all go away?’. Haha, the joke was on me!
Time and time again throughout these past two weeks I have tried to fit a square peg into a round hole, to gain control and perceived normality. Not only has this been challenging, but it has also been impossible! I started with online platforms (lots of these!!) - work, social life, yoga, pilates and art workshops; to writing endless ‘to do’ and ‘fix it’ lists, and not following through on any of them; crazy and enthusiastic family challenges, that fizzled out on about Day 5; oh yes and eating, lots of eating - that provides routine, doesn’t it?… Sound familiar?
This past weekend though, I was given an unexpected gift and permission slip from a client - a Matric student who is wise beyond his years. During our coaching session, he shared with me that he felt frustrated in that he believed he should be applying himself more academically during this time and that his competitive peers would all be using this time more constructively. When we then began to unpack this belief the gifts were revealed: The hours of gardening had provided him with time to reflect and to gain clarity on his chosen path of study next year; his breakfast duties had refined his cooking skills, honed his dishwashing ones and had provided family connection; his daily exercise routine - self-motivation; his daily academic application - a new relationship with Economics, as he could finally spend time here and get stuck in… I could go on, but all in all what we both took from this was how much reflection, introspection, and internal growth is happening for us during this time, even if only on a subconscious level.
LESSON TO SELF: It’s when we let go of attempting to control the ‘the now’, through filling it with clutter, white noise and our previous conditioning of ‘how it should be’, that we permit ourselves to be present to receive the many gifts that we are gaining during this time.
EXERCISE: Write a list of all the busyness things that filled your life back ‘in the day’. Then reflect on those you have hung onto and those that you have let go of during this time. The ones you have let go of are often the ones that have provided unnecessary clutter. Then reflect on - ’ What will I hold onto and what will I let go of when lockdown has passed?’
PRACTICE: Every time you feel that you are being unproductive, or that you should be doing something else, take a deep breath and ask yourself ‘What is the gift in this moment?’
With love and gratitude.