30 March 2020

So the Fear Monster of Day 2 has been released and dissolved. He is gone, gone, gone, and fingers crossed that it stays this way. As odd as it may seem to some, I have surrounded myself in a protective golden light and in this space, I am whole, secure and safe. One Monster out of the way, but once you remove one, another one quickly stands up to take its place in the battle within… so, which one of you is it today? Aaaah, us humans, we are indeed strange creatures!

I suppose this same lens we can put on our current global journey. Up until a few months ago, various countries were fighting various wars with various ‘enemy monsters’, until Covid-19 stood up and demanded to steal the show. We then let go of the less significant ‘enemy monsters’ and united against the big, bad and ugly Covid-19. What is it about this constant warfare that continues to lure us in? Is it the sense of purpose that it provides? that adrenaline rush? a feeling of significance? Or perhaps feeling threatened by someone or something forces us to just FEEL, full stop! Are we so numb to our feelings, that this current sense of urgency is what awakens us to ourselves — and this is what we crave? Perhaps if we were to put a lens on our inner truth we would be forced to confront our own internal warfare? Wow, rather a philosophical start to Day 4!

There is so much news being thrown at us at the moment and even if we consciously choose not to engage with it, it still finds a way to creep in on a cellular level — a friend’s post, a WhatsApp chat, that subliminal TV talk. Then to add to this, the information that is given to us from a reliable and trustworthy source is, minutes later, deemed ‘fake news’! What is real? What is the truth? Oh boy, the self chatter, the clutter, the blanket of confusion and overwhelm that begins to smother.

LESSON TO SELF: No matter how vigilant we are, news and emotional clutter will still sneak into our world and monsters of all shapes and sizes will continue to raise their heads and demand attention. Perhaps it is because they have been so neglected, OR perhaps they are not even monsters at all…only numbed-out parts of ourselves that we have failed to acknowledge for all these years?

PRACTICE: When receiving information, be it from an external source or from your internal emotional compass, ask yourself: What is THE truth vs what is MY truth? MY truth is my interpretation of THE truth and at this stage, both of these may seem rather murky. What is THE truth? How reliable is the source? How is MY truth seeing it all? and — How true am I being to MYSELF during this time?

EXERCISE: A game to play to strengthen this truth muscle, is to describe an object to someone. Once you have done this reflect on how much of your description was THE truth vs MY truth. E.g ‘This is an orange’ (THE Truth), ‘The orange is round’ (it is really round? MY Truth), ‘It is has a damaged skin’ (is it really ‘damaged’ MY truth) vs ‘There are some deep grooves on its skin’ (THE truth)…hope this makes sense.

Whew, quite a deep one today, but I suppose it is all part of the journey.

With love and gratitude.